Busy life = No blog posts.

Well. It's been a while, hasn't it.

Life has been... busy.

I worked an entire summer at camp. It was amazing. Then I got a job for the year working at the preschool at the JCC. So far that has been amazing.

But let's focus on what this blog is about, my weight loss journey.

Camp was great for me. It was constant movement, especially since I was with the 4-year-olds! I'm still with 4-year-olds, but there is a difference between camp and preschool. At camp I was outdoors and walking around everywhere all the time. I lost weight. A lot of weight, actually. Around 20 pounds throughout the whole summer. I'm sad to say that I've gained some of it back.

I haven't been to the gym much. I haven't seen Eric (my trainer) much. I have a bunch of training sessions stockpiled up waiting to be used. I just feel so BUSY and TIRED.

The good thing is that once my LA Fitness contract is over (the end of the year) I have a free JCC membership with working at the JCC preschool so I can use their gym. And I'm there anyway so NO EXCUSES. I really need to get back to working out.

I'm not eating well. I'm not eating HORRIBLY, but I'm not eating well. Hopefully once I move out, I'll see that as a major change for my health.

Oh yeah, I'm hopefully moving out soon. Not as soon as I had planned, because I didn't get the second job I was expecting to get at Trader Joe's (and I'm still a bit bitter about how it all went down) but hopefully SOON. By the way, if you've got a cheap couch (or cheap apartment) you're looking to get rid of, let me know! (Yes, I know it's bad to get furniture before the apartment, oh well)

Anyway, I think that's it. To sum it all up, I love my job. Haven't been to the gym much. Need to move out. That is all.

I think I'm happy. Work makes me happy. I'll be happier when Lola and I have our own place. Maybe I'd be happier with exercise.

Camp!

Sorry I haven't posted in a LONG TIME!!!

I started working at camp this week and I am EXHAUSTED. Don't get me wrong. It's wonderful. I love it. I mean LOVE LOVE LOVE it. But I find myself coming home and pretty much going right to sleep!!!

Which means I haven't been able to make it to the gym. Well, technically I've been able, but I haven't had the energy. I've been telling myself it's okay, because it's not like I'm just sitting around all day in an office or something. I'm actually on my feet doing stuff!!! But I do miss the gym. I'm hoping to try to have more energy next week so I actually get to the gym more. At all. You get the point.

Also, I got my new waterproof iPod shuffle in the mail yesterday. It's purple and beautiful and I can't wait to use it while waterjogging. But it'll have to wait until I actually have energy!!!

Oh, as for the shoulder, I switched my purse to a small cross-body one. My shoulder hasn't hurt since :-)

Shoulder Update & Updated Picture...

Wow! It's been a while since I last posted! Sorry about that. I just felt like I didn't have much to write, I guess.

First things first, the shoulder. I went to the orthopedist and got a cortisone shot. It helped for like, a day. Then things got bad quickly... it hurt worse than before for about a week. But for the past 48 hours or so it's actually been bearable! I'm considering going to Aquafit tomorrow afternoon and not using my arm, because I miss it oh so much, but I'm worried about how it'll affect my shoulder. I'm finally not using pain meds, but I'm worried that I'll do something during Aquafit and it'll set me back. However.... I can't live in fear forever! I'll think about it tonight, I guess.

Other news... I'm down 7.4 lbs in 3 weeks at Weight Watchers! I fell off the wagon a little last week and didn't lose as much as I wanted to, but now I'm back in full swing! Fruits and veggies away!

And... this is what you've all been waiting for.

It's been months since my original picture, so I feel as if I owe you an updated picture.

I was looking at them side by side and I'm kinda amazed at how.... DIFFERENT I look ALREADY! And it's only been a few pounds! I think because of the exercise I've gained some muscle though.

Before you look, keep in mind that I went to the pool this morning and haven't showered yet so I look kinda crappy... this isn't how I look every day ;-)

Anyways...

Here ya go!

The good and the bad...

The good news: We know what the problem with my shoulder is. Bursitis. The bad news? Right now, there is not much we can do about it. Except I'm calling another doctor in the morning, an orthopedist, because it's been over a week of trying to rest and relax it and taking ibprofen and that has only been making it worse and right now I can barely move my arm without excruciating pain.

More good/bad news: The good is that I'm back on weight watchers and on week one lost 3.8 lbs! The bad is that right now I can't afford to buy the monthly pass membership (lack of job, ya know) so I don't get all that funky online and iphone stuff. And I'm finding it very hard to track manually. You know, actually writing things down. So I just... haven't been writing things down. Which is bad. I know. I'm a whiner. I know. But when I have my NEW SUMMER JOB I'll be able to afford the monthly pass and I'll be able to track on my iPhone and all will be right with the world!

Oh, what's that? NEW SUMMER JOB???

I got a job over the summer for my JCC Camp and I'm SO FREAKING EXCITED!!! YAY!!! Outdoors with kids all summer!!! I'm gonna need new sneakers...

Setback...

I hurt my shoulder. It's very painful. I don't know how I did it, or what I did to it, but I know that I need to go see the doctor tomorrow because until I figure out what it is and what to do to make it better, I can't do ANYTHING that involves my left arm...

Ponderings

I don't know what to do about this whole surgery thing.

I've been working out nearly every single day at the gym, and have been seeing some progress. I actually have muscles! I mean, you have to feel them through the fat in my arms, but hey, it's a start...

But I guess I was expecting more. I haven't weighed myself in a while... but I haven't seen much difference in size. I could be wrong. Maybe I should weigh myself.

I should look more into surgery, I think. My main problem, and I'm just going to say it straight out, is that I love food too damn much. I'm scared, not of the surgery, but of not being able to eat afterwards and missing out on good food. And man, do I love good food...

It sucks. All of this.

Except that I do love the gym. I love the pool at the gym. I just don't love being at the gym for hours and hours and not seeing any results!

Hours well spent :-)

I spent 5 hours at the gym today.

I love my gym!!!

Man oh man... met with Eric today... Eric being my new trainer as of a couple weeks ago. He is awesome and amazing and pushes me to all sorts of limits. Today after training I can't move my arms and it feels fantastic. NEVER thought I'd say that! Also something I never thought I'd say: I did 30 push-ups today!!! Not full push-ups on the ground... instead, he has me doing them on a bar that's higher up so I can actually do it... and he'll keep moving the bar lower and lower as I get stronger and more comfortable. But I did 30 of them today! I'm so proud of myself!

I'm also spending so much time in the pool that my skin and hair are getting dry because of the chlorine and I don't even care because I love it just that much! Today after my appointment with Eric, I was in the pool complaining to Dianne that there was no Aquafit class today. Thomas is the lifeguard and he started doing an impromptu Aquafit class just for the 2 of us! It was hysterical.

And then there is Zumba. Have I mentioned that I am THE MOST UNCOORDINATED PERSON ON THE PLANET? Zumba and I don't really get along... but it's so much fun that I'm going to do it anyway! Yeah, I went to Zumba. I hadn't been going because it starts just 30 minutes before Aquafit starts... which is stupid. But I talked to the instructor and she said to just go for however long I could go for and then go for Aquafit! So I went for like 25 minutes and it was great! I was tripping all over myself, couldn't do half of the stuff because of the whole coordination thing, but it was fun! And tomorrow it's at like 11 so I'll go to the whole thing because it doesn't conflict with anything.

I love my gym :-)

Swimming swimming in the swimming pool....

Let's see... I've been to the gym nearly every day these past few weeks. Except for Easter. I skipped Easter and took a walk outside in the rain with Daddy instead.

I've been swimming like crazy. I love the pool. It's not as chlorinated as the JCC pool which is nice... probably because of the lack of children!

And there is a hot tub which is oh so very nice after working out and swimming...

OH! And the Aquafit class is AMAZING!!! I've gone to that a bunch of times. I talk to the ladies too and that's fun :-)

Honestly I don't really swim laps or anything so sometimes I feel like I'm not doing much... I just find new and different ways to walk back and forth down the lap lane using the water weights from the aquafit class... but let me tell you I can feel it in my muscles!!!

Dianne joined the gym so now I have absolutely no reason not to go, which is fantastic.

I have a feeling that if I were to pay attention to my eating, which I'm not doing at the moment, I would be losing a lot of weight. We'll see. Maybe I'll get back on track soon.

I'm Back!

After a short hiatus... I'm back!

I don't know why I took a break... I just had nothing to say, I guess.

But...

I've been to the gym every day this week, which feels great.

And...

I started swimming.

Which feels AMAZING.

It's kinda funny, because I can't swim. Well, it's not that I CAN'T swim... I just can't swim strokes. I can keep myself afloat... I can move from place to place... I just... you know... can't swim.

But I've been "moving from place to place in the water" (LOL at not SWIMMING) and it feels so good!

I'm even going to an Aqua Fit class tomorrow morning!

I can thank Dianne for all of this. I had a guest pass for the gym that I gave her, and she's been motivating me and getting me to go every day.

So THANK YOU DIANNE I LOVE YOU!

I've also been going to all the doctor's appointments I've been putting off... I had my asthma test this week, started back on the thyroid meds, had a thyroid ultrasound... etc etc etc... BTW, there is no better feeling then having a doctor come in the room and say "Wow! You've lost 20 pounds since I last saw you!"

This week was a good week. I'm glad things worked out the way they did. I'm taking this opportunity of not having anything to do to make myself a better person! YAY ME!

Thinking...

Thinking... thinking... thinking...

Thinking is good, right?

Although maybe not this thinking.

I'm rethinking the whole surgery thing.

Not totally... just... for right now.

I don't think I can do it right now.

I don't think I'm ready.

I think that maybe in a year or so I should go back to it.

I think this is why I've fallen "off the wagon"... I just haven't wanted to admit it.

Motivation?

So here's the part where I start losing motivation.

It all started when I got sick.

I didn't go to the gym for like a week, which was bad.

Now that I feel better, it's hard to even spend 20 minutes at the gym, much less what I was doing before I got sick.

As for South Beach... I don't know what I'm doing with it. I'm supposed to be doing Phase 1. I'm not. I'm doing Phase 2. But I need to do Phase 1. Agh. So confusing! Except not really. I need to get my butt in gear. I know that.

This is all for Dr. Posner. The thing is though, I'm losing weight. I gained back a little of what I lost when I was sick, then lost it all again, and that was just by eating healthy. So honestly, this whole "you need to do South Beach" thing kinda pisses me off a little. And that's something I really have to think about if I go ahead and do the surgery, because it's something I'm going to have to be on for the rest of my life. 

About the job... I quit. It was boring. Boring to the point of tears. I don't regret quitting one bit. So now I'm here looking for another job... which means I should have all the time in the world to go to the gym!!! But the motivation needs to be there.

I'm not sure if that whole post made any sense at all... thanks for reading if you did.

Sick.

Been sick for 5 days.

Haven't been to the gym because I can barely breathe by itself, much less breathe and exercise at the same time.

The good thing, I suppose, is how much I miss the gym.

Other good thing is that I'm now on a z-pack, so hopefully whatever is infecting me will be going away soon.

GYM I MISS YOU!!!

It's been awhile...

I know, I know... It's been awhile since I last posted. I've been exhausted. Physically and mentally. And every time I sat down to write a post... nothing came out. So here goes.

I began a new job on Monday. It's retail, so I'm standing constantly. That's good for my health, I keep telling myself, as my feet and lower back are screaming at me to sit down.

Tuesday I had the long-awaited appointment with Dr. Posner's office. I found out some not-so-good news while I was there, which is probably why I have waited so long for this blog post. I have hypothyroidism, which is where the thyroid isn't working as hard as it's supposed to. I've known this for years, and have been on and off medication for it. Unfortunately, I'm currently off medication for it, and if my thyroid levels are off when they do blood testing, I'm going to need 2 acceptable readings, 3 MONTHS APART, for them to schedule surgery. So that was kinda a bummer, because it postpones everything. I guess I just had it in my head that I was going to go in there, get all the tests done, get the surgery scheduled, and go... not quite. Oh well.

Anyway, other than that, the meeting went well. I begin South Beach hard core starting on Sunday. I'm going to have some problems with that too though. Dr. Posner requires a food log. It's Breakfast, Morning Snack, Lunch, Mid-Day Snack, Dinner, and Night Snack. My problem is that I'm now working 9:45-3:30 pretty much M-F, I believe. I don't get a break, and I can't eat in the store. So breakfast isn't a problem, but there's no way to do the morning snack or lunch. I'm essentially going breakfast to mid-day snack or even breakfast to dinner, because I go to the gym right after work...

Oh yeah, I've also been going to the gym right after work every day. That's pretty good. I'm going to be switching trainers I think, just because of scheduling conflicts. But I'm switching to Bill, who is awesome because he has lost 100+ pounds. I'll miss Kim, she was also awesome, but so is Bill. I think he'll be exactly what I need.

GO SABRES!

Up Up and Away!

So, I splurged last week and got myself an UP by Jawbone.

It's a simple band that I wear around my wrist all the time, and it tracks my movement and sleep. Then, I plug it into my iPhone, and it can do so much more! I can use it to track what I eat, my mood, how many calories I burn and how, and what is so cool is that I can use it as an alarm so it'll wake me up at the optimal point during my sleep cycle... I promise I'm not being paid anything to write about the UP, I just really love this gadget!

ANYWAY.

The most important news is that I begin a new job tomorrow! The key is to not slack off on the workouts, while I'm now working for numerous hours per week. It was easy to go to the gym once or twice per day while I was unemployed, but I think I'll have a good system. I'll just plan on going to the gym after work each day, NO EXCUSES!

The other news is that, after over a month of waiting, my appointment with Dr. Posner's office is this Tuesday. As in, 2 days away. I'm not nervous, just excited, I think. But I'll let you know how it goes!

Happy new week, everyone!

Nothing much going on...

Just going to the gym every day...

Nothing much new...

Kim and I started working on legs yesterday. THAT was fun. NEVER thought I'd say that.

I've figured out that cardio is so much easier when I've got something good to watch on TV. Or perhaps a Sabres game to listen to. Because then I can just keep going and going and going... and suddenly it's been 40 minutes or so and it's like WOW where did the time go?

The only thing is that I was supposed to do chest/back weights today, and by the time I got done with my cardio I was too exhausted to do anything else. So everything else gets pushed back a day, I suppose.

I hope I'm not slacking on weights in order to do cardio. Cardio is important, but so are weights. I just don't feel quite as comfortable doing weights without Kim there.

I weighed myself the other day. I went up 0.4 lbs. It's not worth mentioning. I should have listened to Charles at LA Fitness when he said to not weigh myself for at least a few weeks.

I know I'm eating healthy. I know my portion control is better. I know I'm working out. But my body doesn't know what to do with all of this, so it's kind of freaking out on me. Especially with the weight training. I'll have to see what the scale says at Dr. Posner's office on Tuesday... that's the ultimate test. It'll have been about 2 months since the original weigh-in... we'll see where I'm at!

GO SABRES!

Well, Sabres season started today... and we WON! No better way to start off the season :-)

I spent the last period of the game on the bike at the gym. Yes, the entire last period... that'd be about 40-ish minutes. (I was babysitting for the first 2 periods. HI JULIE! Thanks for letting me babysit your beautiful girls)

I figure if I can do that every other game or so, spend a period or two on the bike watching or listening to the game (haven't figured out if they have MSG on the TV's at LA Fitness) then that's a good thing.

I didn't post yesterday, but I had another absolutely amazing session with Kim (the trainer). We worked on what seemed like everything that had to do with chest and back. She showed me how to do a bunch of things both on and off machines. I'd tell you what they were, but I left my booklet in the car and I am entirely too exhausted to go out in the cold and snow and get it now, hahaha.

I've been dying to get on the scale again, but I'm not doing it until it's been a week. I'm so curious though! I feel my clothes getting looser. I have more energy, and just overall feel better. I love this.

And because I said I'd mention her in a blog post:

Jorie leaves for Geneseo tomorrow so that'll be sad, because I've liked having her here :-(  But I'll think of it this way... next time she sees me, I'll hopefully look smaller!

Guilt.

I needed to take a break from the gym today, because I hurt.

So I did.

And now I feel guilty.

I'm going to have to work twice as hard tomorrow with my trainer to get this guilt out of my head.

I don't like feeling guilty about this. This is my deal, not anybody else's. Why do I feel guilty? Who do I feel guilty to? Myself? This is ridiculous.

I can't believe I'm so upset over missing one day out of what... like 10?

I just feel so lazy today...

Laziness and overwhelming guilt. Not a good combination.

It'll all be better when I go back to the gym tomorrow. I'll have to get there extra early for extra cardio time to make this feeling go away!

What do you do...

What do you do when you have absolutely no motivation to go to the gym, are feeling tired and a little sick, and just want to climb into bed and take a nap?

Lace up the sneakers and go to the gym anyway.

At least that's what I did.

Because today I ate a cupcake. I'm not going to feel guilty about the cupcake, I'm just going to do something about it.

And today I did something I've never done before... 5 minutes on the elliptical WITHOUT PAUSING. I don't think I've ever sweat so much in my life. (ew, gross.)

And then I did my weights workout that Kim taught me to do the other day when I met with her.

And then I figured that was enough for one day... because I do actually feel a little bit run down and I don't want to over-do anything.

And now I'm gonna make healthy mushroom burgers (again) for dinner. Because they were delicious last time I made them (which was what... 3 days ago?)

Healthy burgers along with a protein smoothie. (I had fun at GNC today too...)

A Short Update

If you hadn't seen up top... I lost 3 pounds as of yesterday :-)

I also began with my trainer, Kim, yesterday! It was fantastic. She is great, I think she'll be exactly what I need.

Honestly, right now I'm exhausted. I think today will be my break day, because I can barely move. I also overslept last night, so I'm groggy. But I'm still thinking of ways to get in some exercise today. Or maybe I'll just go to the gym later. I'm scared that if I miss a day, I won't go back.

That's it for now. See y'all later.

Can you tell what I'm doing?

Buh Bye Black Forest Cheesecake! I don't need you!

Thanks Stephanie!

Gotta write this now while it's still fresh in my mind. And while I still feel the burn, hahahaha!

I went to the gym this morning (early afternoon... whatever... don't get specific with me please lol) to work out with Stephanie, who is one of the trainers. She is the one who did my initial fitness assessment last week, and we bonded pretty quickly. Anyway, I got there kind of early, so I started with 10 minutes on the treadmill to warm up. Then she got there. What I thought was going to be an easy-peasy cardio workout turned into a grueling free weights workout, and WOW did it feel fantastic!

I wish I knew the names of some of the stuff we did, but I'll do my best to explain what she had me do.

First.... using a bar weight. I forget the weight of the weight (hahaha). Starting with picking it up from the ground, bringing it up to my chest, up in the air, and back behind my neck, then back in the air, back to my chest, and back down. That times 23. (I like 3's. You'll begin to notice 3's and 13's in my numbers)

Then to the wall. Using an exercise ball and a 7.5 lb weight, squats against the wall holding the weight. That times 13.

To the mat on the floor, lying down on my back and grabbing her ankles, lifting my legs up and down (without touching the ground in between! That's the tough part!). I did that 7 times first, then took a break. Then 8 more times. Then 9 more times. Then 10 more times.

Lastly, the plank. I managed 7 seconds. Then 8 seconds. Then 9 seconds. Then.... wait for it... 13 seconds!!!

Then we took a break and did it all over again.

I have to remember how good this feels. I love this feeling. The feeling of accomplishment, the feeling of... burn?

Something she did mention to me is the fact that I may have asthma. I should go get that checked out, I'll do that this week, it's better to know that then not to know that.

Is it wrong that I want to go back to the gym now? I need a break though, and I know that. Maybe tomorrow, because I work out with my new trainer on Tuesday. But who woulda thunk that I, Anna, Me, of all people, would become a gym rat? (No offense to all the gym rats out there)

Another day, another trip to the gym...

Today was my gym's big "Grand Opening" event, so it was a big deal. I got there and was greeted by Kiss 98.5, balloons, giveaways, tons of stuff... I won a t-shirt! I wanted the Les Mis t-shirt but it only came in a Medium, so I went with this shirt instead:

It says "Fashionably Late" for those who don't read backwards ;-) Although I realized later that I could have gotten the Les Mis shirt and kept it for when I could fit into it! Oh well.

Anyways. 

I like that I feel so comfortable at the gym. That was something that I never felt at any other gym... probably because (no offense to those who go there) but I know too many people at the other gym I used to go to. I always felt too hesitant, but at LA Fitness I can start anew. Most people don't know me there, so I can get all sweaty and gross and not have to worry about seeing people I would see at, I don't know... anywhere else. And for me the gym is a judgement-free zone. I don't judge you if you don't judge me. That's all I'm asking for. 

I wonder how this blog fits in... you guys mostly know me, and you'll see me going through some pretty awful stuff (I'm assuming. That's the only way to get anywhere). Who knows. We'll see how it goes. 

People are starting to get to know me at the gym, but in a good way. The employees are starting to know me as the girl who comes in to work out twice a day. Which is a good way to be known, I guess.

Why do I go twice a day? Simple... I can't handle a full workout yet. So I cut it in two. That way I don't have to feel bad if I only do 25 or 30 minutes of cardio in the morning, because I'll do more later that day. Right now I'm pretty much doing as much as I can, which is usually anywhere between 17-30 minutes, at least in the morning. I can usually do more than that my second time around.

OH! I start with my personal trainer this week too! I'm psyched. I'll be sure to let you know how that goes.

Okay, I've gotta go get ready for gym trip #2.

Today (So far)

15 minutes on the bike (level 20-23)

10 minutes on the treadmill (incline at 7, 2.0 speed)

Does walking around Wegmans and Target with Dad and Jor count? hahaha

The beginning. Kind of.

I was going to call this post the beginning. But it's not the beginning. The beginning started a LONG time ago... before I can remember. But honestly, I don't want to think about that right now... that's a discussion for another post. This is going to be a NEW beginning. A new beginning... of a new me.

So why start a blog? Why am I willing to share this with... PEOPLE? The answer is simple, in my mind. It's because I have failed so many times, I need accountability. I need people to answer to. Otherwise... why is this time different from any other time? (ma nishtana... hahaha)

So. Here it is. What I've been dreading... the BEFORE:

There it is. There's me. All... gulp... 297 pounds of me.

Before I let you go... I'll give you some information as to what's going on, and how I'm planning on changing my life.

This all started in November when my dad suggested (not for the first time) that I check out Bariatric surgery. I went to a session held by Dr. Alan Posner's office at Buffalo General Hospital, and the following night my dad and I went to a session together (again by Dr. Posner). I've done a TON of research, and have decided that the Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy is the right fit for me.

HUH?

Yeah, I know. That was my first impression too. Long story short, it's a surgery where they permanently remove about 80-85% of a person's stomach, therefore promoting weight loss.

Why this and not the Gastric Bypass? Many reasons, which I could get into in another post, but mainly I don't want to have to deal with dumping syndrome. (If you don't know what that is, you can look it up or ask me about it.) Among other reasons.

What is the timing on this? I honestly don't know. What I do know is that I have a LOT of doctor's appointments ahead of me, and I'll be sure to keep you updated!

The other thing I'm doing NOW is going to the gym and eating healthfully. I joined LA Fitness this week, and am already noticing a difference in how my clothes fit and in the size of my stomach. Is it too early to notice? I don't know. But what I do know is that I've been going twice a day to work out (given, it's not for a whole lot of time, because I just can't handle it yet) but it feels amazing whatever I am doing. I'll hopefully have a personal trainer once a week too, starting next week.

As for eating, right now I am semi-on South Beach diet. I'm not following it strictly, but I AM eating much more healthy than I have in YEARS. And it's making me feel great.

So. I think that's a pretty good blog post for now. I'll keep y'all updated on my progress, as that's the whole purpose of this blog anyway!

TODAY: 
10 minutes on the bike (level 13)
5 minutes on the elliptical
10 minutes on the treadmill (incline at 7, 2.0 speed)